The Mom and Pop Culture Shop

God Gave Rock and Roll to You

I bought this single truly hoping it would a rock and roll record, perhaps the answer song to KISS' "God Gave Rock and Roll to You," but no, it's the Rev. and Mrs. Jerry Jerkins (their real names) talking about how we need more of Jesus and less rock and roll.
I think the Rev. and the Mrs. need more, say, sexual intercourse and less access, say, to recording studios. That aside, did they think they were putting one over on the teens in the congregation by recording a '45? I wonder if they had a youth group party with Cokes in the church rec-room when they released it. Yeesh. How incredibly depressing.

From the Gospel According to Paul (Stanley) I leave you with this:
"I know life sometimes can get tough! And I know life sometimes can be a drag!
But people, we have been given a gift, we have been given a road
And that road’s name is... rock and roll!
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you, put it in the so-oul of everyone!"

Bo Duke Sings!

I can't think of a more appropriate name for John Schneider's brilliantly titled album Too Good to Stop Now.  Except,  of course, Shit Sandwich, but that must have been taken already by someone looking to cash in on a gratuitous Spinal Tap reference.

The Dukes of Hazzard was a mightly popular show, and the country music tie-in for the record execs must have been irresistable, so we can't really blame them for trying to earn a dollar, now can we?

Cooter, from the original Dukes of Hazzard show, now has a museum up by the Opry Mills Mall in Nashville; after his political career he's still trying to cash in. Apparently, he was miffed that they didn't want him for the movie.

The Thompson Brothers

While most musicians who move to Nashville do so in hopes of getting on the Grand Ole Opry, these guys moved to Nashville in hopes of getting on Hee-Haw. Their gimmick was that they wore fur coats year-round. This outrageous bit of incongruence, sadly but surely, worked.

That's the old Country Music Hall of Fame behind them. The new one is downtown and really high-tech and fancy, but I still love the old one, especially for its Hee-Haw exhibit which featured a plastic cornfield that looked like it had been made by local fifth graders.

I don't think the new Hall of Fame has a Hee-Haw exhibit, but they do have Billy Ray Cyrus' Bum Equipment workout tank top. Now, that's what I call country. Well, that and a guy in a fur coat playing the tambourine.

Have Harp Can't Travel

If you were a little person, wouldn't you choose another instrument besides the harp? Also, didn't Billy Barty get enough work that he didn't have to take harp gigs on the side? And don't you think the other guys in the band would show a little compassion and help the harpist out?

Finally, there aren't enough people out there who perform in little tuxedos anymore.

Last Licks

I don't think I'm the one who's ruining your love life. It might possibly be the mullets, or the white pants.

Last Licks: Are they an '80s band or are they just lesbians who haven't been out of the cave in a long time?

John N. Sowell

Let's see...I have to pose for my album cover. I think I'll bring my amp, my drum machine and my saxophone and then pose in front of The Parthenon.

Yet another Nashville record with The Parthenon in the background. In this one, it almost makes sense as the columns sort of look like 'beams of heaven.' But the mish-mosh of musical gear makes very little sense. John N. Sowell's phone number is on the back; maybe I'll call him up and ask what it all means. Or if he wants to sell that amp.

Helen Taylor

Everything about Helen Taylor is fabulous, from her red gogo boots and miniskirt to her "I Dream of Jeannie" Jim Beam decanter and jug of chianti on the end table. I also love her velvet wallpaper, fake palm, naugahyde Barca-Lounger and plaid rug combination. But most of all, I love her '68 Tobacco burst, block inlay, Gibson ES-335 w/factory Vibrola and rare Tweety Bird decal.

Twin Records

Apparently, it's easier to get a record deal if there are two of you who look exactly alike. Even if your musical genre is singing Christmas carols to the accompaniment of antique music boxes. Of course, in the case of the Williams twins, it helps if you have really cute feathered back hair and your uncle happens to be Andy Williams.

In Nashville it is impossible to turn around without bumping into either a Hager or a Nelson twin (I don't think I have a Nelson album, but I sure wish) and I even know someone who dated either Jim or John Hager back in the Hee-Haw days.

Finally, notice the ubiquitous Parthenon in the background of the Boyer Twins' masterpiece, Seminole Soul.

The Exciting Jerry and the Singing Goff's

Here in Nashville, which inexplicably is called "The Athens of the South," we have a full-size replica of the Parthenon which is in "The Athens of Greece." Our Parthenon was built for the centennial expo here, a World's Fair type of thing, and people liked it so it stayed. It's a cool building, right in the middle of a park, but none of the native scholars that I have met has ever been inside.

Nashville is also "Music City, USA," which is not to be confused with "Music City, Greece." Lots of bands try to make it here and it's popular to have your photo of your leisure-suited gospel band taken in front of the Parthenon. The Exciting Jerry and The Singing Goff's, scholarly lads, no doubt, are a fine example of this not so popular cultural phenomenon.

The Jones Family

Given time, everything is destined to become a classic. Even if it's just another family act gospel record, of which there are zillions in the thrift stores. It seems that every little church everywhere had at least one family in matching polyester outfits singing for the lord.

I'm not sure if "A Classic" refers to the car or to Miss Trudy.