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Title: Pat, the bunny
Artist: Pat's Mom
Medium: acrylic on artboard
You know what I'd really like? A painting of a bunny. I think I'll commission an artist to do one and then hang it in the foyer so that all my guests will know how cultured I am.
This is the worst subject matter, ever, for a portrait.
You would not believe how fast I ripped this off the bulletin board at my local Shoney's, where mullets still rule. At Shoney's they give the kids crayons to draw things, but several adults had to have seen this before it got up there on the bulletin board.
Title: Home at the Ranch Style House
Artist: JoGuffey
Medium: Bourgeois on canvas
I am convinced that the best rockers come from the most middle class backgrounds. It's all about having something against which to rebel. The kid is looking at the sheet music to Home On the Range, and playing the 1967 equivalent of an Esteban guitar, according to the painting. I can almost guarantee that he a) wishes he had an electric guitar and b) wishes he had the sheet music to Smoke on the Water instead. And also that his Mom did not insist on painting such a queer picture in the first place. Jeesh!
Title: My Lover in a Butterfly Chair
Artist: Jopaco
Medium: Pastel on paper
Remember the 70s, when all we did was lie around in our butterfly chairs while our lovers sketched us au naturel? And do you also remember how hard it was to maintain that au naturel feathered-back hair and moustache look after a particularly vigorous roller-disco session?
I think Jopaco captured those feelings particularly well in this painting.
Title: The Unicorn
Artist: J. Abernathy 1983
Medium: Yes
What's a unicorn gotta do to get a drink around here? Seriously, it must be hard to be a majikall beaste and drink out of a shallow puddle, especially if by virtue of your mythic species you possess a certain footloose and fancy-free spirit. This must be why unicorns are "extinct." They all died of thirst.
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