I used to work at a cafe where we had a loose-leaf binder filled with applications that people had turned in. My friends and I used to go through the book when we were bored and one day we found this. (Click on the picture for a larger view.) In the section called If you would like to write anything about yourself... Tod, the employment seeker wrote:
To start with my name is Todd but you allready know that so let me go on. I'm about 5'10" I have little feet and little hands Im not black so you probly allready know what els is small. I like to eat and live in a apartment so that's the main reason I aplied. So I would be delighted to speak to you about emploment. Thanks allot. Todd the Employment Seeker.
Sadly, though Tod had the good sense to make not only a dick joke but also a racial slur on his application, he was not hired, even though his application contained probably the most truthful statement I have ever seen on a job application.
"I like to eat and live in a apartment so that's the main reason I aplied." That's usually, at least for me, the only reason to apply. I mean aply.
Other people who were much less honest were hired. People who claimed to love waiting tables because they loved meeting interesting new people got the job, but Tod (who spelled his name wrong on the front of the application) did not.